The One With The List

Hi. I'm watching Frasier with my gf Allie right now. Beginning of season 8. It's really good and makes me want to talk about other things that I really like. Well I suppose the beer I've been drinking has had an effect too.

That brings us to the first thing. Beer. I love beer. Top of the list of beer in my book is Saranac. Tonight I have been enjoying the Trail Mix six-pack. Six different beers, all delicious. And that does not even include their seasonal and specialty beers. Its all good stuff. I collect empty beer bottles and display them. Currently I have over 30 different varieties of Saranac. Out of all that there is only one that I don't like. Its the Caramel Porter in case you were wondering. And to be fair, the more I have it, the more I like it.

Next lets talk about Kevin Smith. I love his movies, podcasts, blogs, twitter and even books. I tend to read or listen to just about everything he has a hand in. With all the ways he connects to his fans, I often feel like I know him. Today, I saw his newest movie, Cop Out. It was hilarious.

The more I type the more I realize it's hard to pay attention to Frasier. Rather then convince Allie to pause the show I think I'll cut this post short. Albeit, I would feel bad leaving you hanging as to what else I was going to talk about. Here is the rest of the list, in abbreviated form.

List of my favorite things. Counting down. Cause it's just better that way.

10. Tech N9ne
9. The Internet
8. Scrabble
7. TV on DVD
6. Chevelle / Breaking Benjamin
5. Nintendo
4. Tacos
3. Kevin Smith
2. Saranac
1. Allie

Hey, look at that. It's ten things. What are the odds. I guess I could go back and change all I said before to make it a top ten list. See that would make it look like I had a plan to begin with. But I didn't have a plan. I never do. Oh well. Where's my beer?

I Went Back and Changed This Post From One That Was Way Worse

Hey. OK, try to keep up cause I may be going all over the place in the next few sentences here. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and I am once again sure that time travel is not possible. I mean think about it; if people in the future knew how to travel through time, wouldn't they have come to visit us already? Wouldn't they have already tried to go back and get rid of Hitler. Sure you could say that maybe they tried and it didn't work. Or you could bring up how maybe our past was actually changed from something way worse to the way it was as we know it, and the way we know the past as having gone down is not nearly as bad as the past that actually happened before the people in the future went back in time to fix the past that was actually way worse then the past that us in the current time know it as. (WooHoo Run-on sentence.) And I guess I would have to agree with you on that point. So I guess what I am getting at is that time travel is actually possible after all. See how easily I can change my own mind?

Half Cement, Half Brother

Hi. Back in my freshman year of college me and two of my friends went to I Love New York Pizza to get a couple slices. For some reason on the way there I told them that I have a half brother. This lead to the entire pizza trip being dedicated to them creating a story about me and my half brother. The story basically went like this as far as I can remember.

One day Vince was walking around the ACP campus when his half brother Dave showed up. For some reason, Dave decided to try and steal Vince's identity. He was walking around wearing the 8-Mile beanie and had on transition glasses. Vince did not like the idea of his half brother taking over his life. Try as he might, Vince could not get Dave to stop copying him. Weeks of frustration go by and Vince starts to go crazy with jealously. Everything good seems to happen to the impostor Vince, and the real Vince keeps getting pooed on. The real Vince then comes up with the greatest idea he has ever had. He and the impostor Vince will battle for the right to be called "Vince". The battle takes place on top of the tallest building that the ACP campus has to offer, the Notre Dame Dorms. An epic fight ensues. Both real and impostor Vince strike devastating blows, but one victor soon emerges. The fight ends with real Vince throwing impostor Vince off the roof and into a wet pile of cement. However, the real Vince is only able to enjoy his victory for a mere moment. When he looks down to see the aftermath, he is frozen from the terror of what he sees. Out of the cement emerges his half brother. At that point. Vince knows the rest of his life will revolve around fighting his new nemesis. Half Cement, Half Brother.

That is the origin story of Half Cement, Half Brother.

Alright, most of that story I made up just now. All I really remember from 5 years ago was the part where I fight Dave on top a building and he falls into cement. But I figure this version of the story has got to be at least a little similar to what was told back then. Oh well, you know how that goes, stories are bound to change after multiple years of retelling. At least now there is some version of it out there once again.

Ready to Strike

Hey. I feel bad that I have not been watching that much of the Olympics. I mean, they come on only once every 4 years. I should be excited about this stuff. And I kinda am, yet it's hard to bring myself to watch. Granted, I am watching right now and I just saw Lindsay Vaughn get a gold medal, but that's about it so far. Oh well, maybe I'll watch more as they continue.

So have you heard about Kevin Smith being TFTF(Too Fat Too Fly) and getting kicked off of a Southwest Air flight? Dudes big, but he's not that big. It's pretty crazy to me. I mean, if he can kicked off a flight, whats stopping people from kicking me off of a flight cause I'm too fat. Sure I haven't flown in about 6 years, but I will again. When I do, I don't want some smart-ass telling me to buy a second seat to fit all of my lard.

Maybe it's just because I don't have a PS3 yet, but I have been having a lot of fun going back and playing NES and Genesis games lately. I've mostly been playing old Mega Man and Sonic games the past few days. They're pretty sweet and I kinda wish I was playing one of them right now instead of this stupid speed skating trials BS that's on my TV right now.

That reminds me. Remember that Geico commercial? You know. The one with the kid, I think his name was Scottie, and a soap box racer car. And he's like talking about how fast he is. Then it ends with him saying something to the effect of "People are like `Where's Scottie?` I'm a million miles away, son. Ready to strike." I really liked that line.

Remember Media Play?

How goes it? Did you know that I use to work at Target? You probably did, but I just wanted to get that out before this next statement. I love Wal-Mart. Stuff is just so cheap there. I think later today I am gonna go to the Wal-Mart Super Center later today. You know, the one by where Circuit City was before they went out of business. Remember when they went out of business? Around the final three weeks of the store, I was going there to check out the clearance about 4 times a week. I think I must have bought about 15 CDs and DVDs for around thirty bucks. It was awesome. But the thing is, ever since Circuit City left Best Buy has had much less competition. Sure Best Buy and Wal-Mart compete, but its just not the same.

- OK, I am getting sick of typing the names of theses stores, so from now on I am going to abbreviate. Best Buy will be CC, Wal-Mart will be BB, and Circuit City will be WM. Or not, I think I'll leave it open to your own interpretation as to how I will be referring to stores. Confused yet? Probably. Oh Well. -

Without CC, BB has been having fewer sales it seems. They use to both have tons of DVDs, CDs, and Video Games on sale every week. Now, not so much. What BB needs is a new store to come in and take the place of the now defunct CC.

- This just in. The other day I heard that there is going to be a new store moving into the old CC building. And apparently, it comes from the west and is supposed to be much in the same vein of CC and BB.-

Wow, that was nice. I guess my wants are going to be fulfilled on this particular wish. Unless of course the information I heard was actually not true. Only time will tell. I am of course too lazy to fact check any of these rumors that I hear. It's just too time consuming.

(5 minutes goes by.)

Alright I just Bing-ed it. I caved and really wanted to know what the deal was. It seems Ultimate Electronics is going to move into the old CC building. It opens in May or June. I hope it's cool.

Congratulations Vince, You Now Look Like A Young Boy or: Ding Dong the Beard Is Dead

Hey. In case you cannot tell from the title of this post, I have shaven off my beard. Not trimmed it down as I normally do once or twice a month, but full on razored it off. It was mostly done to give it a re-boot. Sometimes after multiple trimmings, things just get uneven. By taking the whole thing off, I am able to regrow it and have it be as even as possible. So, this morning I decided to document the whole thing and have a little fun with it. Here are some pictures if I can figure out how to add them to this post.


Alright, first we have a picture of myself before this whole process began. Note the full beard that had been trimmed about two weeks ago. On the last trimming I took everything down a little except the mustache and the goatee.



Here we have the first cuts of the process. I took off everything below my jaw and a little bit on my cheeks. The effect is a Van Dyke with chops.



Next I eliminated the chops out of the picture, leaving only the Van Dyke.



This is an attempt at a Fu Manchu. Seeing as how my mustache does not connect to my goatee very well, it looks awful.



The final snapshot shows me with only a mustache.


Minutes after that last picture was taken, I completed the process by shaving off the mustache. I would have liked to keep just that, but I have seen 15 year olds pull it off better then me and I'll be damned if a 15 year old shows me up at a facial hair competition.

If I Had $1,000,000

Hi. I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. That would be why I am going to tell you this. I have a history of taking off my shirt. Yea so Barenaked Ladies is one of my favorite bands and I just listened to "One Week" and I felt like typing some lyrics.

Here's an interesting fact. One of the singers for Barenaked Ladies was arrested for cocaine possession back in oh eight. The charges were eventually dropped, after he made good on the courts request to stay clean for like six months or something. But still. Cocaine! Barenaked Ladies! Never saw it coming. Anyways, since then he has left the band to pursue a solo carrier. That's where my problem comes in. Barenaked Ladies as a band still exists and plans to record new material. Now I realize that their other singer is still there, but it just doesn't feel the same. And I could never see myself listening to a Stephen Page solo record. Yet if they had stayed together as one band, I would totally be buying their next record.

I don't know. I guess their newer material hasn't been as good as the older stuff, but that's how it always goes. Bands just cannot continually put out fantastic material. Of course if I were to fully believe that then I would have to over look Metallica. Seriously, Death Magnetic rocks. Hard.

The Squirrel Story

Hey. Are you ready for this? I'm going to start out with a retelling of the squirrel story. The other day at work I was cutting between the buildings outside and there was this wall with a pipe on it. The pipe went straight up for most of the wall then cornered off and went up to the roof at a slight angle. Imagine an upside-down "L" with the horizontal being at a slight upward angle. Got it? OK. Alright, as I looked at the pipe, there was a squirrel running up it. In its mouth was a crumpled up piece of newspaper. As the squirrel ran up and over the angle, it slipped. After a quick struggle, the squirrel could not hold its grip and it fell off the pipe. The little creature plummeted towards the earth, but luckily caught itself mere inches under the pipe. With some confused body language, the critter looked around and then hopped back to the pipe. The journey was not meant to be easy however. The cold must have allowed some ice to form, because the little fella just could not get a grip on the pipe. The slipping then caused the piece of newspaper to fly out of the mouth of the brave animal. A sad story that has a sad ending. The tiny rodent then had to flee to the safety of the roof sans a new piece of paper to add to his shelter. The newspaper was left as just another bit of litter floating around the lawn. Perhaps the paper would have a happier ending. Maybe it would end up in a recycling plant. Even better, it could have ended up as a paper mache(sp?) hat for a smiling child. But alas, I would never know. I entered the building right after the squirrel was gone, and I did not see the fate of the crumpled newspaper.